Detachment (A passing muse)
As you experience life more and more, some of the concepts that seemed too abstract to wrap around your head, become more tangible, easier to believe and live with. Such a one is detachment...
How can you be passionate without attachment? How can you not care and yet love? These questions bugged me as a teenager. But now, nearing 25, I find this curiously satisfying feeling of something I can only term as detachment touch me at unexpected moments, filling me with a calm serenity. At most other moments I crave it, and cannot find it. But in some rare, pure moments, I experience care without strings, if such a thing might be. I experience an absence of negativity. It's not the same as being aloof, 'cause sadness still has its grip on me. But the grip that felt like claws biting into the flesh now feels like a compassionate hand resting on the back - supportive, understanding..
At others, in moments of pride and success, instead of a wild ecstasy filling my lungs, a blissful aroma downs on me. Feeling something that resembles a cocktail of nostalgia and...happiness? I don't really know what happiness is. I can describe ecstasy for you. That's a simple feeling to describe. Its counterpart, rage, is equally easy to define. They are both a rush of hormones - both temporary; both non-tangible and dream-like once past. But happiness... It seems to accord more meaning than them. Its a surreal term... Something few can truly experience...
The moments of anger and ecstacy, of hatred and injustice, of pride and shame - all evaporate, for better or for worse... And their softer, more reasonable, more lasting souls take their place...
"But doesn't the world need fierce passionate feelings at times? Feelings that drive them to right the wrongs and just the unjusts?" You might ask. From where I stand right now, I guess it does. It feels like a necessary evil. But then again, I haven't ever lived in an environment devoid of such people. If all such people, the positives and the negatives are absent, the world might not need fierceness - it might just be able to live on detachment...
Is that what the elders call a Utopian world?
How can you be passionate without attachment? How can you not care and yet love? These questions bugged me as a teenager. But now, nearing 25, I find this curiously satisfying feeling of something I can only term as detachment touch me at unexpected moments, filling me with a calm serenity. At most other moments I crave it, and cannot find it. But in some rare, pure moments, I experience care without strings, if such a thing might be. I experience an absence of negativity. It's not the same as being aloof, 'cause sadness still has its grip on me. But the grip that felt like claws biting into the flesh now feels like a compassionate hand resting on the back - supportive, understanding..
At others, in moments of pride and success, instead of a wild ecstasy filling my lungs, a blissful aroma downs on me. Feeling something that resembles a cocktail of nostalgia and...happiness? I don't really know what happiness is. I can describe ecstasy for you. That's a simple feeling to describe. Its counterpart, rage, is equally easy to define. They are both a rush of hormones - both temporary; both non-tangible and dream-like once past. But happiness... It seems to accord more meaning than them. Its a surreal term... Something few can truly experience...
The moments of anger and ecstacy, of hatred and injustice, of pride and shame - all evaporate, for better or for worse... And their softer, more reasonable, more lasting souls take their place...
"But doesn't the world need fierce passionate feelings at times? Feelings that drive them to right the wrongs and just the unjusts?" You might ask. From where I stand right now, I guess it does. It feels like a necessary evil. But then again, I haven't ever lived in an environment devoid of such people. If all such people, the positives and the negatives are absent, the world might not need fierceness - it might just be able to live on detachment...
Is that what the elders call a Utopian world?